So in under an hour I go from being "a thief" to having an unpaid internship? Thanks, I guess.

Besides, around here that line needs attribution like "To be or not to be" needs it in Stratford-on-Avon.

But to show you I'm not a complete curmudgeon, see if this will work. I presume people will still need to copy/paste into their browsers?

This is an apropos choice for the season. It's "The Gray Horse", a 1952 column by W.W. "Red" Smith (from "The Red Smith Reader", via Google Books). It will never stop astounding me that he wrote stuff like this six days a week, on deadline.

https://books.google.com/books?id=nSuCDwAAQBAJ&pg=PT118&lpg=PT118&dq="A+man+with+half+an+eye+-+which+is+all+anybody+could+be+expected+to+have+open"&source=bl&ots=u3V5LdZAwH&sig=ACfU3U0SWOUtOHaJcrNfKmBuxOHEh93J9Q&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwj0g7jk-LuAAxWSEVkFHVc0BSkQ6AF6BAgJEAM#v=onepage&q="A man with half an eye - which is all anybody could be expected to have open"&f=false