Cookies (1120 Views)
Posted by:
derby1592 (IP Logged)
Date: December 09, 2002 11:08PM
This has nothing to do with racing but I know some of you will appreciate a good laugh so I thought I would share it anyway.
It comes from a speech given by Douglas Adams, a British Author who is now deceased but was best know for writing the brilliantly witty novel, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."
Enjoy and remember the answer is "42" (inside joke for those who have read his books).
Chris
***
This actually did happen to a real person, and the real person is me. I had gone to catch a train. This was back in 1976 in the U.K. I was a bit early for the train. I went to get myself a newspaper to do the crossword, and a cup of coffee and a packet of cookies. I want you to picture the scene. It's very important that you get this very clear in your mind. Here's the table, newspaper, cup of coffee and packet of cookies. There's also a guy sitting opposite me, perfectly ordinary-looking guy wearing a business suit, carrying a briefcase. It didn't look like he was going to do anything weird. What he did was this: he suddenly leaned across, picked up the packet of cookies, tore it open, took one out, and ate it.
Now this, I have to say is the sort of thing the British are very bad at dealing with. There's nothing in our background, upbringing, or education that teaches you how to deal with someone who in broad daylight has just stolen your cookies. You know what would happen if this had been South Central Los Angeles. There would have very quickly been gunfire, helicopters coming in, CNN, you know...But in the end, I did what any red-blooded Englishman would do: I ignored it. And I stared at the newspaper, took a sip of coffee, tried to do a clue in the newspaper, couldn't do anything, and thought, "What am I going to do?"
In the end I thought, "Nothing for it, I'll just have a go for it," and I tried very hard not to notice the fact that the packet was already mysteriously opened. I took out a cookie for myself. I thought, "That settled him." But it hadn't because a moment or two later he did it again. He took another cookie. Having not mentioned it the first time, it was somehow even harder to raise the subject the second time around, "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice..." I mean, it doesn't really work.
We went through the whole packet like this. When I say the whole packet, I mean there were about 8 cookies, but it felt like a lifetime. He took one, I took one, he took one, I took one. Finally, when we got to the end, he stood up and walked away. Well, we exchanged meaningful looks, then he walked away and I breathed a sigh of relief and sat back.
A moment or two later the train was coming in, so I tossed back the rest of the coffee, stood up, picked up the newspaper, and underneath the newspaper were my cookies. The thing I like particularly about this story is the sensation that somewhere in England there has been wandering around for the last quarter-century a perfectly ordinary guy who's had the same exact story, only he doesn't have the punch line.