Episodes 1 AND 2? I might check the show out, since the grotesqueness seems to be working.

As for the “Welcome to the pools” line, do you remember the last time you used it here?

On the impossibility of keeping Paul Matties out of the pools: I totally agree. And I think the reason for the impossibility might be worth a minute or two of thought.

On your shift to the literal as you made the above point: I forgive you for wanting to try that move. I cannot forgive you for deciding to try it.

And finally, nothing that you have written is anywhere near as grotesque as the ending Sorkin put on his godawful Lucille Ball movie.